Strange that I woke this morning with a thought to revive this dusty blog, sitting lonely and forgotten for much too long. What is strange is that when I logged in to create the first post in years, I noticed the date of my last post was exactly 4 years to the exact day of today. March 30, 2013 - March 30, 2017. Coincidence or a sign? I'll go with coincidence but acknowledge the goosebumps.
This morning, inspired to write a love letter to my son.
Dear Brad,
It's not your birthday today; but who needs a birthday for mom to embarrass her kid?
Facebook shared this photo memory from 2013 when you were 12 years old.
Today is just an average, ordinary day on planet earth. Nothing special but my heart still skips a beat when I see your face in the morning (ok, not every morning, not those LEAVE ME ALONE mornings, LOL) because I'm still so full of awe that I get to be your mom. How did that happen? When I was pregnant and found out I was going to have a son, I was all like "A BOY? Aw, come on. I don't understand boys!" Ultimately, it took me all of 1 second to fall in love with you anyway, of course, and as the years go on, I see that God has a sense of humor and knows what he's doing even if we don't. Yet.
We butt heads. A lot. We say harsh things to each other, we slam doors and sometimes want to run away. But....we always make it right again.
All the standard "Mommy thinks I'm special" things apply here, of course. You are smart & funny, a talented musician and rather handsome (if I do say so myself) but it's your heart and your sprit that inspires me beyond words. You have a sense of what is most important - beyond school work and politics and financial matters. You have a natural curiosity and knowledge of connections beyond our physical selves, you have a deepness of soul and a level of empathy that is beyond your years.
You are an artist, a creator and a dreamer.
These things make you stand out as "different" sometimes and as a teen, that doesn't always feel like a good thing but that part is just temporary.
I am so in love with you, so in awe of your spirit, so dedicated to guiding you toward a path that is unique to YOU that I will continue to seek alternative education options, I will continue to push you, annoy you, make you angry, piss you off, make you wish you had another mother.
I will continue to enroll you in music lessons, ask you to sing to me and then ground you and take away your "toys" because you didn't do your homework. Or the dishes.
I will drive to the ends of the earth to help you find your tribe, to help you find your happy place, to make connections that light you on fire.
I believe in you. I have faith in you. I will die for you (but not for a while, ok?)
Mom
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